Chelsea went on a second date four years ago and left after ten minutes because the man answered the door in house slippers and champion shorts.

He's now reappeared three times, and this week he listened to the episode about himself, remembered everything we said, and cancelled Friday.

Also this week: Chelsea is convinced Jim Carrey has been cloned and replaced by a Hollywood operative. Lindsay thinks it's just bad Botox. We nearly didn't make it through this episode together.

Plus: Freebird as a song of choice during private times, the Call Her Daddy breakdown and why Sophia Franklin deserves better, the Tampa airport pajama ban which we fully support, and the Chelsea Misery Tour with stops including "where I gave my boyfriend handies in the car."

You're welcome.

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